Now that I have made you PITs work on your inner game, I guess itâ€™s now time that you should go out in the field and start making a few cold approaches. Now, I know this part can be quite difficult.
Hell, when I had first started walking up to pretty looking girls, there were times when I just ended up walking past them because my mind became a complete blankâ€¦ what the hell am I supposed to say to her?
My inner game tips will have ensured that you are no longer intimidated by women — you can look straight at them without lowering your gaze, you have started feeling more empowered and confident while interacting with women who are already in your environment etc. etc. If you have to make a cold approach and start a conversation with a girl you know nothing about, you should know exactly what you are going to say to her. The reason being, if you approach a girl completely unprepared, either of these two things might happen:
1. You will just walk past her without saying anything at all.
2. â€œUmmâ€¦. â€˜xcuse meâ€¦. Do youâ€¦..have the TIME?â€ Mental blocks will result in stupid openers. Once she says its 6:30, then what? Of course you will have to thank her and move on (cursing yourself under your breath)
Thatâ€™s the reason why itâ€™s important to use a canned opener. A canned opener is like a pitch, quite like the ones that call centre employees are made to memorise and practice before they start taking/making calls. They know exactly what they are supposed to say and this makes interacting with a complete stranger (with a weird accent) easier. Another thing a canned opener does is that it completely neutralises the effects of a negative reaction. So if ever a girl comes across as cold, disinterested or, in extremely rare cases, rude to your approach, you can simply cut short the conversation and move on to a different target.
Types of Canned Openers
Direct Openers: In these openers you are directly conveying your sexual/romantic interest. Direct openers work best in pubs, bars and discotheques where girls are tipsy, their guards (and by that I mean their bitch shields) are down and they actually expect guys to approach them. Use direct openers at your own peril in neutral zones like streets, coffee shops, malls, book stores, parks, gyms etc. In such places, direct openers can and should be used to accelerate emotions of attraction once you have built some rapport with the girl and the conversation is flowing smoothly.
How direct should a direct opener be?
That depends entirely upon the environment you find yourself in. There are essentially three types of energy zones. In a high energy zones like clubs and discos you can be very direct. Direct openers work best if they are outrageously funny. So while they will successfully convey your sexual interest, the humour in it will act as a superb ice breaker by making her laugh.
For example: Say this when you see a group with a girl you like. â€˜Hey, it looks like the partyâ€™s over here.â€™ Then turn to the girl you want and add, â€˜If I wasnâ€™t gay, youâ€™d be so mine.â€™
In low energy zones like book shops, classrooms or study centres, offices etc., direct openers shouldnâ€™t be used until you are sure that the girl is showing non verbal signs of interest. If she looks in your direction and smiles at you then you can be pretty sure, that she wants you to approach her and start a conversation. GAME ON.
However, in most circumstances it would be best to start the conversation with an indirect canned opener. Indirect openers are for all situations. They can be safely and effectively used in every imaginable place infested by women.
Before I give you an example of an indirect opener, there are a few things you need to ensure in order to derive maximum value from your approaches:
Approach a girl within three seconds of spotting her. If you wait any longer, your inner (approach) anxieties will psyche you out. Moreover, if the girl has already seen you looking at her, then itâ€™s absolutely necessary that you walk up to her immediately or not do it at all. Women appreciate confidence, they like spontaneity. If you wander around her, keep looking at her while wondering what to do next, you will come across as a stalker, and creep her out. So get in the habit of seeing a girl and approaching her straight away.
Approach at an angle
Never approach a woman from behind. Never walk straight up to a group. Come in from the front, but always at a slight angle so itâ€™s not too direct and confrontational. You should speak to her over your shoulder, so it looks like you might walk away at any minute.
Smile on the approach
By smiling I am not talking about that idiotic, sickly grin that you greeted your school principal with when he caught you smoking in the playground. You should smile while walking up to a girl and keep smiling during the first few seconds of the interaction. Learn to smile with the eyes in addition to smiling with your mouth.
Be loud enough
You should be loud enough and clear enough, making sure that girl is able to hear and comprehend what you are saying. If you are a habitually fast talker, practice talking slowly. Practice your openers by standing in front of the mirror, record your voice and listen to your rate of speech. You donâ€™t have to shout, but just make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention and respond to your opener.
Now the player will explain what an indirect canned opener is with the help of an example. This is one of the Playerâ€™s favorite openers and is very effective to build some initial rapport and get the girl to participate in the conversation. If the player happens to be in a mall or a shopping complex and sees a girl or a group of girls, he just walks up to them walking tall, with the slightest hint of a smile playing lightly on his lips and says:
The Player: Hey Guys, I need a female opinion on a particular issue. Can you help me out?
The girl/girls: ohâ€¦k. What?
The Player: I have a cousin sister who is going abroad to Switzerland. Now I wanted to buy her a really nice Cashmere cardigan. But the problem is that sheâ€™s in between sizes, so I donâ€™t know which size to get herâ€¦.
The great thing with such an opener is that its gets the girl to respond.
The Playerâ€™s Suggestion:Itâ€™s always best to ask open ended questions. Your aim is to make the girl respond and participate in the conversation and this can only be done by asking an opinion-based open ended question.